HBIC, A Few Poems

I need to see myself

I am a bitch 


Do I need to speak

About the intuition I’ve been holding on to?

How I’ve been obsessively thinking about this niggle in my heart?

Strongly holding on to the face of being okay

I am resilient and I am strong

Strong enough to hide that I’ve been holding on

To a love that is not mine

Because I believe that it will be

Am I ignoring the signs that say he is not?

Or am I ignoring the signs that says he is?

The devil

The toxicity

Was it all an illusion?

Is there really all love and light within this thing that I could only see darkness

Because fear set in when an inch of love was felt

Am I the issue?

Deep down inside my facade of a life that I so gratefully admire

They tell me to unbound myself

Release the soul patterns and the past lives

The trauma that I have been holding on to

Like playing small because of fear of being seen

There is another being inside of me

& they say that being can go 

I say the being of playing small

Playing safe

Doubting and being okay with others doubting me

It would be the person who would arise if I were to die today

& I am afraid of death

Even though, I have felt it before and I survived

This life does not make me happy

but would I sacrifice myself for the betterment of humanity?

When I smacked that floor

I was reborn

We are really living in misery

We spend our lives making a dollar



Constantly moving

And we can't even have a break to just live

This is not what life is about

Being a human is living in hell

When we could be a cloud and just float in the sky, however in conditions that spread and give love to keep the pollution away

Is there a life such as this?

Or will being human be a complete life of constantly being pushed and moved and in need to constantly create friction

I am weak

And find it to be burdening physically to even muster the energy to type this

Because deep in my body death is occurring 

And death comes in many forms

This one is unsure

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