Last night I couldn't sleep...
Only 2 hours in and the excruciating sensation took me under
This is familiar, but this time it's different
THIS was the very thing that I was trying to avoid
He flips over and reaches his arm around me
I'm stricken to my right
I moan again and grab his hand
The sensation radiates and I can barely take it anymore
I push his hand down
"Please let his energy dissolve the feeling"
As soon as my intent plays, a sound vibrates out of my control
I.am.dying...But I already knew that
I moan again
Agony, twinge, beauty-I may be dying but I'm coming back to life
Tender, throb, impact-all together-what do you call this?
This portrait titled, "Blood" was created to signify the pain that I, and all women, go through once a month as a natural rebirthing process, or a menstrual cycle. Women experience many different symptoms during their cycle, but of course the most common symptom is bleeding for up to 7 days. Ancient mythology said that during this time women are healing and regenerating. We internally die and are reborn by shedding our lining like a snake sheds their skin. Not only do we bleed, but we also have physical and emotional symptoms that can be so dreading they are unexplained. During this time, I, personally, like to take time to myself to just relax away from others and away from the world. My first day is always the toughest. Even by preparing myself ahead of time I still manage to get cramps that are so fierce, I literally feel like I'm dying (lol). Sometimes the pain is so excruciating I puke whatever is inside of me. (sorry for the tmi) The pain, beauty, and sensations we go through by being a women, not only from our menstruation but by being a woman walking on earth, led me to creating the concept for this photo.
I initially thought about emerging out of a bath of blood, but how I was going to do it, I didn't know. So then I get the idea to create a milk bath, because I knew that this would create the consistency and thickness that I needed for my intent. For the red color, I added food dye. Although, this process did not give me the color I wanted. The color of the milk and water was more pink after the dye had saturated, but I had to make it work. After getting the best photo, I created the rest in post editing by altering the hue and saturation of the water. And thus, "Blood" a self portrait was created.